For a while there, “quiet quitting” was on the tip of everyone’s tongue—as a shorthand for disengaged, underperforming workers, and as a cautionary tale for pandemic-era work-from-home policies.
Originally seen as a side effect of an employment market that favored candidates, quiet quitting was viewed by many as a way employees were pressing their advantage.
But today, even as the job market has ebbed and flowed, quiet quitting remains a significant issue for employers. In fact, quiet quitters make up between one-fifth and two-fifths of the workforce, according to a 2024 McKinsey & Company report on the high costs of disengaged workers.
As employers wrestle with quiet quitting, it is important to identify the real drivers of disengagement.
It’s not just about slacking—it’s about grieving, too.
How loss affects employees
When an employee suffers a life-changing loss, in many ways they return to the office a different person.
This new person has staggering bureaucratic, financial, and legal responsibilities for the next few months, even years. And they are suffering deeply, in ways that can affect their physical and mental health, as well as their work performance and productivity.
Specifically, the shock of traumatic loss can be perceived as a threat by the brain, which can then shift into a survival stance to defend itself.
In this powered-down mode, people can suffer from cognitive issues like brain fog, which usually manifests as confusion, anxiety, forgetfulness, and a lack of focus and mental clarity.
Empathy’s Cost of Dying report revealed that 83% experience anxiety, 73% report confusion, and 30% say their memory has been impaired.
“Quiet quitting” isn’t always what it seems.
An employee struggling to keep up in the weeks and months after the passing of a loved one can easily be misdiagnosed as “quiet quitting”—when they actually want to get back to high levels of engagement and performance.
They are simply carrying a heavy load, in a culture that often misunderstands and minimizes the effects of loss.
Loss as a second job
On average, families do 420 hours of work over 13 months on all the bureaucratic, legal, and financial responsibilities of a loved one’s passing. Most of that work must be done during business hours as well, so they are forced to spend lunch hours on the phone and play catch-up on their professional responsibilities on nights and weekends.
This is all happening during a period of time when the strain of grief can be overwhelming. Something has to give—and often it’s work performance.
Employees facing mental health and well-being challenges are 4 times more likely to want to leave their organizations.
Unfortunately, the best employees often have the hardest time getting their bearings at work after a loss. Because they are not used to falling behind or asking for help, they run the risk of burning out or quitting altogether.
Employers who understand what their employees are facing in the aftermath of loss can see beyond behavior that may look like quiet quitting.
Offering meaningful support for bereaved employees
Employees facing mental health and well-being challenges are 4 times more likely to want to leave their organizations, according to a 2023 McKinsey report.
By helping employees who are struggling in the short term, employers can inspire long-term loyalty and a culture of care across the organization. Because, after all, when an employee is struggling with loss, their team is, too—and those team members will remember how their coworker in crisis was treated.
The best employees often have the hardest time getting their bearings at work after a loss.
Dedicated bereavement leave and flexible scheduling that includes work-from-home, part-time, and intermittent-leave options are excellent places to start. And many employers are taking the step to connect employees with professional resources like estate lawyers, financial advisors, grief counselors, and even child care and meal services.
Perhaps the most profound change can begin with training employees and managers in how to support their colleagues. If a manager feels confident, and has a step-by-step plan to rely on, when an employee comes to their office to share the worst news of their life, they are more likely to spot the signs of an employee who is struggling later.
This is a crucial way to transform a problem simply by identifying it correctly. Because “quiet quitting” isn’t always what it seems.
How to support a grieving employee
It is hard to know what to do if someone who reports to you has suffered a death in the family. As common as it is, it is still unfamiliar territory for many bosses. But there are a few proactive measures you can take to support your employee right now.
5 min readLeading a team affected by a coworker’s traumatic loss
At work loss doesn’t just affect the person who is grieving. Being prepared and having a plan of action will make a complicated and potentially messy situation much easier to manage.
4 min readProviding professional resources for grieving employees
Things like meal delivery, housecleaning, and even lawyer and accountant recommendations will ease their considerable burden as they transition back to the office—and this crucial support won’t be forgotten.
6 min read